Thanum an Dhul, do ye think I'm dead?

I couldn't resist using that title... It's from a favorite song of mine called Tim Finnegan's Wake. I love Irish music, and drinking songs too.

Anyways, I have been long overdue for a post, and I deeply apologize. Things kinda went... Crazy out of nowhere, and a lot of things are suddenly changing more so than I ever though they would. Well, no, scratch that. I knew they would some day, but not THIS fast.

So why don't I catch all of you up to speed, eh?

Let's see... I got accepted into another college through transfer, I'm finally moving out of my parents' house and into a new apartment once I get a job to support myself (which means a summer job and a job there), I'm going to be taking an ASL (American Sign Language) class starting in June and will be going to school for social work to help developmentally challenged children, and then finally I got my neuropsych testing back.

So let's start with the college.

For those of you who have read my past posts, you'll have seen that I dropped out of college after my first year due to depression and anxiety. I should have mentioned this, and I'm sure I did, but if I didn't well.. New information, woo hoo!

I didn't think I'd ever go back to an actual campus, but one day after talking to my advisor something totally snapped in me and I just tried to apply for a transfer. It was terrible waiting for the answer, because I'd convinced myself that I wouldn't get in, that my grades from my mess up weren't good enough...

Boy was I wrong! Not only did they accept me, they accepted me within less than a week! Usually it takes them a week or so to process everything, but they got me accepted pretty dang fast! I was extremely excited and I almost started crying. I never thought I'd get into this school, it's my dream school... It's the school I wanted to go to ever since I visited the campus many years ago. I had other schools I wanted to go to, such as MIT and Northwestern, but those are ridiculously difficult to get into. My genius sisters, who are graduating two years early and going to college this year too, didn't even get in. So if they couldn't, how could I? Unless they thought of me as a diamond in the rough, that they could polish up and use as a transformation story. But I digress!

I love this school, and I'm not only accepted into the college, I've been accepted into their social work program. I do have a few more requirements I'll need to meet through the school itself, but I'm IN BABY! WOO HOO! I'll be starting life for real now, and going to live on my own too.

I decided not to live in a dorm, as I have a beautifully adorable cockatiel named Oliver who has to stay with me. He's bonded and if he loses me, I fear he might die of a broken heart, the poor baby. He needs his mommy! So I'm looking into apartments around there, and found a wonderful website specifically for this campus that helps you find affordable rentals for college students instead of living in a dorm. I just barely passed the requirement for living off campus too, so I'm rather happy. It really seems like everything is starting to fall into place now. I just have to try and get a job that will support me through out the school year before I can fully move. My parents said they might even be able to help pay for my first month of living if I am able to get a job up there, and then start paying for everything myself. I'm beyond ecstatic right now, if you can't tell. More so, I'm excited to move out rather than go to college. College is great for furthering education, but I'm finally going to experience ADULTHOOD. I'm going to be turning 21 out on my own and experiencing life. I cannot wait! ....But I also want to start buying things for my apartment. I keep going to stores and seeing items which make me go "hmm.... I could see that in my house". It's hard to resist temptation to buy things when you don't even have a place yet.

And then, of course, I'll be doing ASL this summer. Which again, for those of you who don't know what it is, it's American Sign Language. I love this language and I love how beautiful it is. I want to be able to use it.

I chose social work as well, because the two go hand in hand, and with developmentally challenged individuals, some cannot hear and rely on signing to get their points across. I am challenged with mental health and other disabilities that I understand fully well how hard all of this can be, and wanted to dedicate my life to helping others.

My Neurpsych Testing

This entire experience was rather insightful. I grew up thinking I was bipolar, OCD, and all these other labels they put on me that I can't even remember now. There were times they thought I was Schizophrenic due to a stress break I had with my mental health... But the results turned out rather interesting. I just suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and also sensory defensiveness as well as low emotional maturity (which makes sense, I cry over everything without meaning to). However, I would have to say I think I do have a small touch of depression caused by the low emotional maturity, because I do get low sometimes but never to the extent of those truly suffering from depression. I did back in the day, when I was in elementary and high school, but now it's pretty much gone.

This is great news, because it's rather easy to treat and it's nice to not have so many labels to carry around anymore, but also, it's harder because it's something that I'mt not sure if I can get the same help within school that I need and I can't apply for some of the scholarships I was able to before... But really, I shouldn't complain. I know how hard it is to deal with mental health, and I wouldn't ever wish anything like that upon myself or anyone else.

I also found out I have trouble storing information and do well with associating words with other words and items. That helps... And that's really it on that front. It's a pretty nice discovery if I do say so myself.

Random Blurbs

I realized recently that I probably have Fibromyalgia as well now, so we're just going to say I do, because it's rather hard to diagnose and my doctors don't know jack about it, so I'm not going to even ask. There's not much you can do about it anyways, from what I've found, so I'm merely treating the symptoms. I also had to do a hearing test, after my annual physical this week because my hearing isn't perfect. The test claims that I'm within normal ranges of hearing, but low in some areas... And I think this is BS because I know how I hear, and it's not well because I have to turn up the volume to obscene levels to hear music in the car and on my computer. Not to mention, when people speak quietly I either don't hear them or understand what they're saying... But it's not bad enough to the point that I need anything to help me with it, so I'm just going to monitor it and hope for the best!

AND FIN.

Quite a bit has happened, as you can see, and I've fallen behind on my exercising as well as with this blog. I'm going to do my best to get healthy again, and I've not fallen so far down as I usually do, so I think picking back up will go pretty well. I'm going to TRY to keep regularly posting in here, and I'm going to just post things about my daily life, how I coped with every day happenings and things like that.

So good night all, and enjoy your slumbers!

- Rosie