And here we are again! Picking up where I left off last night. I'm going to do my absolute best to keep my thoughts orderly this time around, but having been getting over the all-fun Mono virus I've been pretty tired. Didn't help that I spent most of the day out today, doing some neuropsych testing (which is another thing entirely, that I won't get into just yet either).
Now to remember where I stopped... I'm pretty sure I left off with finishing the pancreatitis story, and now we need to venture further into the actual POTS occurring.
I was doing AMAZINGLY and SWIMMINGLY well with life after that horrid month of agony. I was the happiest I'd been in awhile and had all this hopes and aspirations. One of the biggest one was wanting to move out of state and go to Florida or possibly Washington state. Polar opposite places, I know, but I love both.
So of course you can imagine my dismay, when the fateful day in January of this year happened.
It was just another day of work as usual, and I was in the car driving, horribly belting out lyrics to the song Somebody That I Used To Know (Kinda ironic given what would occur soon after). I was feeling on top of the world and excited to go in to work. I'd just talked with my managers the weekend before, saying that I wanted to take on more than I already had. I'd done fitting rooms, departments, overnight price changes, cashiering, you name it. I wanted MORE, because it was my goal and dream to become promoted as well as to some day be a manager.
Well, as I was driving, I came to a stop light and was waiting but realized I'd been slouching in my seat. I pushed one hand down onto the arm rest while the other was above my head on the handle near the ceiling and pulled myself up. The moment this happened, I felt butterflies trying to escape through my chest. The next thing I know, everything was black. Thankfully I came back to the world of the conscious soon after, and the light was still red but by this point I was flipping out. I knew I had to get to work, though, and honestly was going to still go in. I got there, called my mom, and told her what had happened.
Now, a little about my parents.... They do not like to spend money on medical things nor do they like missing work for anything medically related. Even if you had just lost an arm, they would tell me to go into work. They have a very strict work ethic, and while I do as well, I understand that you will not have work if you do not have your health.
So I knew she'd tell me to still go, and I was planning on doing so. Mom, of course, told me to go and drink lots of water. I went inside, but found I felt dizzy and weak, my body was trembly and I just didn't feel right. Apparently, I didn't look right either because the moment I got to the break room, one of my co-workers forced me to sit down and started asking me questions about if I was alright. They ran off to get a manager because I didn't look good at all. Honestly, I don't remember much more than that, the next memory of that night I have is riding in the car with my mom in the dark, trying to get myself together while my head was raging with pain.
I spent the next week trying to relax and stay calm, but I was assuming the worst. I have a severe phobia over the more horrible conditions, such as those lovely growths that form in your brain or in your body. It was because of this, I kept insisting to my mother that I really needed to go to the doctor. This resulted in a rather large argument with my parents and was the start of my mood lowering significantly due to this situation. I didn't even know just how horrible this situation was going to turn out to be at the time. I honestly just assumed I might have gotten mono or some kind of nasty virus, when I was finally thinking clearly.
It took a lot of effort and arguments before my mother finally realized this was something that needed to be taken care of.
But we'll stop there. This is getting long and windy again, and I'm exhausted. I will continue on tomorrow, and we'll start with my very first doctor's appointment.
Happy trails, friends! And well wishes to you all~
- Rosie
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